I am doing great thanks! Its been a month since my radiation ended and I'm feeling pretty good. I can tell you the week or two after radiation was bad, my armpit was really burned. Once that healed up I felt pretty good. The muscle aches caused by the Taxotere or Nuelasta are gone now too.
I've been to the oncologist and my blood work looks great. I'm supposed to get a mammogram in November. No one has used the word "cured". They did say I did everything that was recommended, now I just come back in 3 months for blood work. I have some plastic surgery in my future.
I feel like this part of my journey is coming to a close. God has been so amazing, providing me with prayer warriors, great friends and family. I have always believed that I have a strong faith, and it was tested much this year. God has given my a new outlook, I'm trying to live fully, love amazingly and forgive repeatedly. I'm looking forward to this next year - I wonder what the next adventure will be? (maybe raising a 13 year old?)
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Recovering
Romans 5:3-5While up north with the Johnston clan,we read through Romans 5 and these verses were applied to me and my circumstance. While it's true this past year has been a struggle it is best to focus on the end of verse 5, God has been generous with his grace!
3 There's more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we're hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, 4 and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. 5 In alert expectancy such as this, we're never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary--we can't round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Last week of radiation!
My how times flies while one is having fun... or is just amazingly busy. :-)
I am down to the last 3 radiation treatments. I have one Monday- Wednesday this week and then this third phase of cancer treatments is over. I am ready for this to be over. My right armpit is very raw feeling, like I fell asleep in the sun with my arm over my head. I have walked around the last two days with my right hand on my hip to keep the upper arm at a 45 degree angle - away from my body to allow the skin some air, and to not rub the arm against the armpit. The body language look is that I have an attitude! The Radia-plex lotion I am using helps, but it will just take some time for the "sunburn" to settle down. Radiation is making me a little tired, but I have learned to take naps, Thursday and Friday afternoons a nap is a must. I talked with my oncologist last week about the lingering side-effects from the chemo treatments and she said it may take another 4 months or so for those side effects to go away.
So I am practicing patience as well as learning to lean on community for help, healing and prayer.
Thanks again for your prayers. I know there is still a large group of you asking about me and remembering me before God and I can fell the effects of those prayers.
Some of you have asked about the financial aspects of all this treatment and we have been truly blessed by the insurance coverage where Al works. Of course there are lots of little $20 co-pays here and there and prescription co-pays as well, but for the most part (more than 95%) all costs have been covered by insurance. Again, God was working this out for us in advance as the insurance, at GE, where Al previously worked had been drastically cut in the last few years.
Now I am ready to focus on staying physically fit and eating a healthy diet. I have some great friends at work who are ready for me to exercise with them again, now that the radiation treatments are coming to a close. Also, my master's program is complete and my degree is in the mail! I have much to be thankful for in this coming harvest and thanksgiving season. I would love to hear what you are all thankful for as well. :-)
I am down to the last 3 radiation treatments. I have one Monday- Wednesday this week and then this third phase of cancer treatments is over. I am ready for this to be over. My right armpit is very raw feeling, like I fell asleep in the sun with my arm over my head. I have walked around the last two days with my right hand on my hip to keep the upper arm at a 45 degree angle - away from my body to allow the skin some air, and to not rub the arm against the armpit. The body language look is that I have an attitude! The Radia-plex lotion I am using helps, but it will just take some time for the "sunburn" to settle down. Radiation is making me a little tired, but I have learned to take naps, Thursday and Friday afternoons a nap is a must. I talked with my oncologist last week about the lingering side-effects from the chemo treatments and she said it may take another 4 months or so for those side effects to go away.
So I am practicing patience as well as learning to lean on community for help, healing and prayer.
Thanks again for your prayers. I know there is still a large group of you asking about me and remembering me before God and I can fell the effects of those prayers.
Some of you have asked about the financial aspects of all this treatment and we have been truly blessed by the insurance coverage where Al works. Of course there are lots of little $20 co-pays here and there and prescription co-pays as well, but for the most part (more than 95%) all costs have been covered by insurance. Again, God was working this out for us in advance as the insurance, at GE, where Al previously worked had been drastically cut in the last few years.
Now I am ready to focus on staying physically fit and eating a healthy diet. I have some great friends at work who are ready for me to exercise with them again, now that the radiation treatments are coming to a close. Also, my master's program is complete and my degree is in the mail! I have much to be thankful for in this coming harvest and thanksgiving season. I would love to hear what you are all thankful for as well. :-)
Friday, August 19, 2011
Taking care of business... every day!
Hello,
Well it's been good and tiring and fast and slow lately. Since I wrote to you I spent two glorious weeks on Lake Michigan with Annie, Hannah, Nathan and my folks. Al, Abi, AJ, Kaitlyn and Joanne & Dave were there for the second week and we really enjoyed ourselves in the water, sun, shade, jeeping in the dunes, riding bikes, playing lots of games of Sequence and Dutch Blitz. :-)
We ate well and rested and walked. It was good and mostly slow for those two weeks.
Then we came home. I'm back to work, and very very close to finished with the Master's program I've been working on all year. And I started radiation treatments. This Wednesday, the 17th, was my first one. I will have 25 treatments total, every week day until done, which should be about Sept. 21st. It really only takes about 5 minutes, once I'm in the room, laying down with my hands above my head. A big machine that looks like an x-ray machine moves around my torso and buzzes and bings. All the nurses leave the room, of course, so this feels a little different than chemo treatments did. Chemo was almost social, I had family/friends with me every time I went in for chemo, and you just sit there for about 3 hours, so you talk and share and get encouraged. Radiation is lonely, as I told my mom in a phone text the other day. She correctly reminded me that God/Jesus is always with me so I am not alone in that room.
Today on my way home in the car I listened to a song on the car stereo that lasted about 5 minutes, the same time I am alone in the radiation room. The song was called Taking Care of Business by BTO. I smiled through the whole song because my mom hated that song when it came out in the late 70's! Today it was perfect. Every day I will go to radiation treatments and take care of business, for 5 minutes and then move on with the rest of life. :-)
I have a couple of prayer requests for you. I seem to be experiencing a small case of Lymphedema, a swelling of my right arm due to the 13 lymph nodes being removed. My oncologist immediately sent me to a physical therapist who specializes in lymphedema and Ellen has been great! I have some exercises to do that help my lymph system drain better and the swelling is almost gone. I will see Ellen once a week, specially during radiation as radiation often causes lymphedema.
I am also experiencing an extension of the nerve damage caused by the last chemo drug Taxotere. I still have tingling toes and the soles of my feet, as well as my forearms, fingers and even my cheeks. It's not painful, but weird and just unsettling at times. It should eventually go away, everyone is different so there is no set time table to tell me when.
Radiation will be easy for the first two weeks or so, then I will (maybe) start to feel kinda sunburned in the treatment area. I have a special lotion for this, and hopefully my skin will handle the treatments well.
Again I can't thank you all enough. It is humbling and a blessing to know that you are praying for me!
Thank you for Taking Care of Business- Every Day! :-)
Well it's been good and tiring and fast and slow lately. Since I wrote to you I spent two glorious weeks on Lake Michigan with Annie, Hannah, Nathan and my folks. Al, Abi, AJ, Kaitlyn and Joanne & Dave were there for the second week and we really enjoyed ourselves in the water, sun, shade, jeeping in the dunes, riding bikes, playing lots of games of Sequence and Dutch Blitz. :-)
We ate well and rested and walked. It was good and mostly slow for those two weeks.
Then we came home. I'm back to work, and very very close to finished with the Master's program I've been working on all year. And I started radiation treatments. This Wednesday, the 17th, was my first one. I will have 25 treatments total, every week day until done, which should be about Sept. 21st. It really only takes about 5 minutes, once I'm in the room, laying down with my hands above my head. A big machine that looks like an x-ray machine moves around my torso and buzzes and bings. All the nurses leave the room, of course, so this feels a little different than chemo treatments did. Chemo was almost social, I had family/friends with me every time I went in for chemo, and you just sit there for about 3 hours, so you talk and share and get encouraged. Radiation is lonely, as I told my mom in a phone text the other day. She correctly reminded me that God/Jesus is always with me so I am not alone in that room.
Today on my way home in the car I listened to a song on the car stereo that lasted about 5 minutes, the same time I am alone in the radiation room. The song was called Taking Care of Business by BTO. I smiled through the whole song because my mom hated that song when it came out in the late 70's! Today it was perfect. Every day I will go to radiation treatments and take care of business, for 5 minutes and then move on with the rest of life. :-)
I have a couple of prayer requests for you. I seem to be experiencing a small case of Lymphedema, a swelling of my right arm due to the 13 lymph nodes being removed. My oncologist immediately sent me to a physical therapist who specializes in lymphedema and Ellen has been great! I have some exercises to do that help my lymph system drain better and the swelling is almost gone. I will see Ellen once a week, specially during radiation as radiation often causes lymphedema.
I am also experiencing an extension of the nerve damage caused by the last chemo drug Taxotere. I still have tingling toes and the soles of my feet, as well as my forearms, fingers and even my cheeks. It's not painful, but weird and just unsettling at times. It should eventually go away, everyone is different so there is no set time table to tell me when.
Radiation will be easy for the first two weeks or so, then I will (maybe) start to feel kinda sunburned in the treatment area. I have a special lotion for this, and hopefully my skin will handle the treatments well.
Again I can't thank you all enough. It is humbling and a blessing to know that you are praying for me!
Thank you for Taking Care of Business- Every Day! :-)
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Last Chemo!!
Well folks, we are almost there. On Tuesday this week I will go to chemo session number 8, the final chemo session. Ahhhh. I admit I am tired of this phase of my life. The taxotere has been more difficult than the first chemical cocktail. I am tired, I've been taking a multivitamin and B12 complex extra vitamin and I'm still tired. The Nuelasta was helpful with my white blood cell count but it caused couch-potato syndrome for quite some time. I have tired to get back to my exercise routine, but have not been very successful. In addition to the fat, burnt tongue, I have a crazy rash on my hands and arms that comes and goes, acts like sunburn, is red, irritating and itchy. Then it peels and starts over with the next chemo dose. And I have some nerve issues, like parts of my face feel like they are asleep, hands and toes too. I think this is related to the sore toenails and finger nails. BUT only once more. Then I get some healing time before the radiation starts the week of August 15th. I am looking forward to the healing.
So there are a few things you can pray for. I need to get back to exercising, I need to eat foods that will help with the healing process. I need rest. Some things I am so very thankful for - all the people who have prayed for me, sent me cards, brought me meals (someone brought me salmon today- thank you!), people who keep asking me how I'm doing and telling me that I look good, co-workers who look out for me and help me when I struggle, and family who just keep amazing me daily. I knew I had a great crowd of witnesses to live with and around, but knowing it in my head and feeling it in my heart have been two different experiences. Hebrews 12:1 (the Message) says "Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we'd better get on with it." You have all been pioneers and veterans to me, cheering me on.
Thank you so very much.
So there are a few things you can pray for. I need to get back to exercising, I need to eat foods that will help with the healing process. I need rest. Some things I am so very thankful for - all the people who have prayed for me, sent me cards, brought me meals (someone brought me salmon today- thank you!), people who keep asking me how I'm doing and telling me that I look good, co-workers who look out for me and help me when I struggle, and family who just keep amazing me daily. I knew I had a great crowd of witnesses to live with and around, but knowing it in my head and feeling it in my heart have been two different experiences. Hebrews 12:1 (the Message) says "Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we'd better get on with it." You have all been pioneers and veterans to me, cheering me on.
Thank you so very much.
Monday, June 27, 2011
The day before number 7
So today, Monday, June 27 is the day before my 7th chemo treatment. Today I also went to see the radiation oncologist for a second consultation. I am happy to report that my consultation went great. My questions about whether or not the radiation could/would avoid the heart were answered YES. Because my cancer was on the right side the radiation will not touch my heart. Additionally, the one "involved" lymph node was not encapsulated, so under arm and backside radiation is not necessary. So I am moving forward with radiation treatments starting in mid August. I will have 5 weeks of 5 days a week treatment. The oncologist was very reassuring and very willing to answer all my questions. All in all I was very pleased with my appointment today.
Tomorrow is my next treatment of Taxotere and then I have only the final treatment on July 19th. I am excited to be so close to the end of chemo. I have received many compliments from the staff at the cancer center, they are impressed with how well I have done during the chemo treatments. I know that all the prayer and support that you have given me has helped me handle these treatments. Again I want to thank you for your prayers and support. You all have loved me extravagantly, forgiven my flaws repeatedly, and served me amazingly. Thank you.
I took the last month off from my grad classes, to rest and finish the school year strong. I think it was a good decision. I start up again today and because of the 4th of July holiday ( a week long holiday in my program) there are five weeks in this class instead of 4. That will be helpful and give me a chance to keep up while going through the 2 final chemo treatments.
We are going camping in a few days, pray for me as I rest, enjoy the sun and water (without getting burned). It will be my week of smoothies and popsicles.
Tomorrow is my next treatment of Taxotere and then I have only the final treatment on July 19th. I am excited to be so close to the end of chemo. I have received many compliments from the staff at the cancer center, they are impressed with how well I have done during the chemo treatments. I know that all the prayer and support that you have given me has helped me handle these treatments. Again I want to thank you for your prayers and support. You all have loved me extravagantly, forgiven my flaws repeatedly, and served me amazingly. Thank you.
I took the last month off from my grad classes, to rest and finish the school year strong. I think it was a good decision. I start up again today and because of the 4th of July holiday ( a week long holiday in my program) there are five weeks in this class instead of 4. That will be helpful and give me a chance to keep up while going through the 2 final chemo treatments.
We are going camping in a few days, pray for me as I rest, enjoy the sun and water (without getting burned). It will be my week of smoothies and popsicles.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
6 down, 2 to go
Hello,
I really should have updated you all sooner, as the last post was my whining about some of the Taxotere side effects. The taste and fingernail issues lasted about a week, from almost exactly Thursday to Thursday. Since then the taste of most foods came back and the fingernails were fine. I am starting to see a slight discoloration in my nails, just below the white line, but if I do a nice French manicure I can probably camouflage that. :-)
I had my 6th chemo treatment on Tuesday afternoon, and my mom, Sue Bomers came with me again. We chatted and I got to hear about her trip to Florida with Joanne and Dave and how proud she is of grandson Zach. We are proud of him too, and very glad that God is using the YWAM program in his life.
Again I have had no allergy type reactions to the Taxotere, but the Benadryl they gave me makes me sooo sleepy that I came home and slept from 4-8pm! Quite the nap.
Also, when I went in on May 27th for blood work my white blood cell count had dropped below some magic number and earned me a shot of Neulasta to help my bones generate more white blood cells. I received that shot today, and it is supposed to kick in between 7-10 days from now. I have prepped my food supplies with smoothie ingredients and powdered protein, in case the taste bud issue returns. Fruit juice popsicles were also recommended by a friend and colleague who weathered this store a couple years ago.
I am determined to keep my blood cell counts up this time. With school ending on Friday my biggest source of possible infectious areas will be gone and I think I can make it through the next 2 chemo treatments with the same intensity and timing. I really want to finish in July, so I can spend time at the cottage on Lake Michigan knowing that I am done with this phase of recovery. (Prayer request item. ;-)
My other prayer request item is about life in general, my selfish inclinations to be so concerned about what I need and want. I do better at fighting this sin nature when I feel 100%. Now when I'm tired or hungry (and nothing tastes good) or having hot flashes or tired, I don't do a very good job of living selflessly. The people who have to live with me, Al, Annie and Andrew often don't get what's going on and it's partly because I don't verbalize my condition very well. I expect them to read my mind or that they approach every day like I do thinking "what is the cancer treatment going to mean today". Pray for me that I would keep the selfishness in check and be able to verbalize what I legitimately need from my family.
Thanks again for your kindness and support and attention.
I really should have updated you all sooner, as the last post was my whining about some of the Taxotere side effects. The taste and fingernail issues lasted about a week, from almost exactly Thursday to Thursday. Since then the taste of most foods came back and the fingernails were fine. I am starting to see a slight discoloration in my nails, just below the white line, but if I do a nice French manicure I can probably camouflage that. :-)
I had my 6th chemo treatment on Tuesday afternoon, and my mom, Sue Bomers came with me again. We chatted and I got to hear about her trip to Florida with Joanne and Dave and how proud she is of grandson Zach. We are proud of him too, and very glad that God is using the YWAM program in his life.
Again I have had no allergy type reactions to the Taxotere, but the Benadryl they gave me makes me sooo sleepy that I came home and slept from 4-8pm! Quite the nap.
Also, when I went in on May 27th for blood work my white blood cell count had dropped below some magic number and earned me a shot of Neulasta to help my bones generate more white blood cells. I received that shot today, and it is supposed to kick in between 7-10 days from now. I have prepped my food supplies with smoothie ingredients and powdered protein, in case the taste bud issue returns. Fruit juice popsicles were also recommended by a friend and colleague who weathered this store a couple years ago.
I am determined to keep my blood cell counts up this time. With school ending on Friday my biggest source of possible infectious areas will be gone and I think I can make it through the next 2 chemo treatments with the same intensity and timing. I really want to finish in July, so I can spend time at the cottage on Lake Michigan knowing that I am done with this phase of recovery. (Prayer request item. ;-)
My other prayer request item is about life in general, my selfish inclinations to be so concerned about what I need and want. I do better at fighting this sin nature when I feel 100%. Now when I'm tired or hungry (and nothing tastes good) or having hot flashes or tired, I don't do a very good job of living selflessly. The people who have to live with me, Al, Annie and Andrew often don't get what's going on and it's partly because I don't verbalize my condition very well. I expect them to read my mind or that they approach every day like I do thinking "what is the cancer treatment going to mean today". Pray for me that I would keep the selfishness in check and be able to verbalize what I legitimately need from my family.
Thanks again for your kindness and support and attention.
Monday, May 23, 2011
New prayer requests
Okay, I am going to whine a little. I will try to keep it short and (bitter)sweet. If you could pray about the following items I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you in advance.
My fingernails ache. They feel like I shut them in a door. They aren't black and blue and don't look unusual in any way, but they ache. Typing now has a weird sensation, it's not impossible or even unpleasant just weird.
Additionally, my taste buds are messed up. The carrot cake muffin I had for breakfast this morning tasted like sawdust. It's as if there is no taste, only texture. I am also having trouble drinking plain water. I have purchased V-8 juice blends like peach mango and strawberry banana which are still very refreshing. I am mixing them with Sprite Zero and the carbonation seems to awaken my tongue so the taste of the juice comes through.
Yesterday (Sunday) was gorgeous! Al and I went for a motorcycle ride from home to Grand Haven to see the Kite Festival at the state park. We took Leonard Ave. out to Grand Haven and I could smell the lilacs all along the way. My new helmet and jacket were great. We do not have the helmet walkie-talkies so I had a nice long conversation with God while sitting on the bike. The scenery and the smells and feelings of riding along reminded me that God asks us to be Fully Alive, not just living. Some days I think we are all just living, moving through our day mechanically, following our routines and taking so much for granted. We forget so easily, to question our usual view, our usual patterns and make sure that we have reasons for what we do and what we think and believe. So my encouragement to you is to be Fully Alive, not just living. Don't wait for something like an illness or death of a friend or relative to make you wake up and question who you are and what you are doing.
My fingernails ache. They feel like I shut them in a door. They aren't black and blue and don't look unusual in any way, but they ache. Typing now has a weird sensation, it's not impossible or even unpleasant just weird.
Additionally, my taste buds are messed up. The carrot cake muffin I had for breakfast this morning tasted like sawdust. It's as if there is no taste, only texture. I am also having trouble drinking plain water. I have purchased V-8 juice blends like peach mango and strawberry banana which are still very refreshing. I am mixing them with Sprite Zero and the carbonation seems to awaken my tongue so the taste of the juice comes through.
Yesterday (Sunday) was gorgeous! Al and I went for a motorcycle ride from home to Grand Haven to see the Kite Festival at the state park. We took Leonard Ave. out to Grand Haven and I could smell the lilacs all along the way. My new helmet and jacket were great. We do not have the helmet walkie-talkies so I had a nice long conversation with God while sitting on the bike. The scenery and the smells and feelings of riding along reminded me that God asks us to be Fully Alive, not just living. Some days I think we are all just living, moving through our day mechanically, following our routines and taking so much for granted. We forget so easily, to question our usual view, our usual patterns and make sure that we have reasons for what we do and what we think and believe. So my encouragement to you is to be Fully Alive, not just living. Don't wait for something like an illness or death of a friend or relative to make you wake up and question who you are and what you are doing.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Chanting
Chemo session #5 - check.
Great Husband who came along - check.
Nap on the couch once we got home - check.
By the way - NO ALLERGIC reaction!! Yahoo! This is a big answer to prayer. BIG answer. Thank you so much for your prayers. :-) The nurse said to pay attention to my feet and toes, hands and fingers and let them know if I have numbness that doesn't heal within the 2-3 weeks between sessions.
So I am staying on track, my blood cells seem to be dipping, but recovering well. I'm still eating fruits and veggies and lots of protein. I am still exercising. Apparently I am not the normal patient and I am sure it is the prayer and care that you all have given me.
So my chant for today was and is "GOD is in charge, Al is coming along, and the cancer center staff know what they are doing." :-) I think this helped my blood pressure and gave me an overall peaceful feeling.
I saw this picture on another blog by a gal in California. She is a couple of months ahead of me in this journey. As you can see, she feels that radiation is an integral part of the breast cancer treatments. She is a nurse and she didn't initially want to undergo radiation, but after researching the odds that radiation gives us, she went ahead with a modified program. She had her first treatment today, and I will continue to follow her journey. I will be calling my radiology doctor and asking for another consultation, please pray that I can communicate clearly my concerns and get answers for my questions.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for reading and keeping up with me. :-)
Great Husband who came along - check.
Nap on the couch once we got home - check.
By the way - NO ALLERGIC reaction!! Yahoo! This is a big answer to prayer. BIG answer. Thank you so much for your prayers. :-) The nurse said to pay attention to my feet and toes, hands and fingers and let them know if I have numbness that doesn't heal within the 2-3 weeks between sessions.
So I am staying on track, my blood cells seem to be dipping, but recovering well. I'm still eating fruits and veggies and lots of protein. I am still exercising. Apparently I am not the normal patient and I am sure it is the prayer and care that you all have given me.
So my chant for today was and is "GOD is in charge, Al is coming along, and the cancer center staff know what they are doing." :-) I think this helped my blood pressure and gave me an overall peaceful feeling.
I saw this picture on another blog by a gal in California. She is a couple of months ahead of me in this journey. As you can see, she feels that radiation is an integral part of the breast cancer treatments. She is a nurse and she didn't initially want to undergo radiation, but after researching the odds that radiation gives us, she went ahead with a modified program. She had her first treatment today, and I will continue to follow her journey. I will be calling my radiology doctor and asking for another consultation, please pray that I can communicate clearly my concerns and get answers for my questions.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Moving along
So the fourth treatment went well, a couple of days of foggy head, nap times and relaxing. Last week and this week so far are going great. I have been exercising and eating well. My blood test showed that my white blood cell count, while low, was the highest it has been for me after a treatment. My red blood cell count is a little low so I have been enjoying some lean hamburgers and more protein.
Next Tuesday, a week from today is my next chemo treatment, starting a different drug called taxotere. Please pray that my body will be able to handle the new treatment.
I also have another prayer request. A friend of mine from church is going through a very similar bout with breast cancer. She had her first chemo treatment on Monday. Please pray for her too, that she can handle the treatments well.
In an email conversation I had with this friend she mentioned she wondered when she would feel normal again. As I read that wondering I smiled, then laughed a little and then cried. There will be no old normal feeling for us. But that is growth, that is progress, changing the old normal and moving along to the new normal. It's the same for students who move from elementary to middle school and middle school to high school and again when moving to college. It is the same for a promotion or new job or retiring from an current job. It's hard to do, sometimes there are clear signs that it is time to move on, sometimes we have to seek advice about moving and sometimes like with breast cancer, God tells you to move along. But He promises to guide and protect us as we move along and He will be with us on this journey.
Next Tuesday, a week from today is my next chemo treatment, starting a different drug called taxotere. Please pray that my body will be able to handle the new treatment.
I also have another prayer request. A friend of mine from church is going through a very similar bout with breast cancer. She had her first chemo treatment on Monday. Please pray for her too, that she can handle the treatments well.
In an email conversation I had with this friend she mentioned she wondered when she would feel normal again. As I read that wondering I smiled, then laughed a little and then cried. There will be no old normal feeling for us. But that is growth, that is progress, changing the old normal and moving along to the new normal. It's the same for students who move from elementary to middle school and middle school to high school and again when moving to college. It is the same for a promotion or new job or retiring from an current job. It's hard to do, sometimes there are clear signs that it is time to move on, sometimes we have to seek advice about moving and sometimes like with breast cancer, God tells you to move along. But He promises to guide and protect us as we move along and He will be with us on this journey.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Moving in on the halfway point
Hello,
I have neglected the blog, I apologize. My third chemo treatment went very well, with my sister Joanne keeping me company. I went for my CBC blood work last Friday and my test results came back with low white blood cells but no lower than expected. I am eating well and exercising and I expect my blood work will be better when I go in for my 4th treatment next Tuesday. That treatment will be the the halfway mark in my chemo sessions. The final four sessions will be a different drug for me, Taxotere. Interestingly enough it is made from a rare Pacific yew tree. I've been told by the cancer nurses that many people are allergic to this drug so they give benedrayl before the chemo, to help with allergy reactions and side effects. May 17th is the first scheduled treatment for this drug. Feel free to pray for this session.
My blood pressure is also coming along well. I did increase my blood pressure medication and am continuing to see my general doctor for this.
I am still praying for and researching radiation treatments. Prayer is welcome here also.
Thank you again for the continued prayers and cards. Some of you have gone way beyond the standard expectations sending cards and well wishes. Your love and care is still warming my heart. I thank you all, friends, family and coworkers, and the line is blurred within those groups. Thank you all so much.
I have neglected the blog, I apologize. My third chemo treatment went very well, with my sister Joanne keeping me company. I went for my CBC blood work last Friday and my test results came back with low white blood cells but no lower than expected. I am eating well and exercising and I expect my blood work will be better when I go in for my 4th treatment next Tuesday. That treatment will be the the halfway mark in my chemo sessions. The final four sessions will be a different drug for me, Taxotere. Interestingly enough it is made from a rare Pacific yew tree. I've been told by the cancer nurses that many people are allergic to this drug so they give benedrayl before the chemo, to help with allergy reactions and side effects. May 17th is the first scheduled treatment for this drug. Feel free to pray for this session.
My blood pressure is also coming along well. I did increase my blood pressure medication and am continuing to see my general doctor for this.
I am still praying for and researching radiation treatments. Prayer is welcome here also.
Thank you again for the continued prayers and cards. Some of you have gone way beyond the standard expectations sending cards and well wishes. Your love and care is still warming my heart. I thank you all, friends, family and coworkers, and the line is blurred within those groups. Thank you all so much.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
The Power of Prayer
I am feeling GREAT! The second chemotherapy was no harder and maybe even easier than the first one. I have had two weeks of feeling very good, I've been exercising and eating well. (I did have pepperoni pizza one night and Al challenged me to eat better, but I think pizza will have to be in my diet occasionally.) I have been working and keeping up with my grad class work also. Some people who have had chemo before have asked me about sleeping, I do have some insomnia, but a basic Tylenol PM makes a huge difference for me. My blood pressure seems to have settled into the low 140s and upper 130s which is much better. I know that all of your prayers are making a difference for me.
I am beginning to research the effects and science of radiation for cancer. Please pray that Al and I would be able to talk about and make a wise decision in this area. My natural lean is to not undergo radiation, but I want to be open and to understand fully the science behind this course, and I want to be open to God's leading here as well.
I'm getting use to the wig, I can go hours without thinking about it and the itch is gone. I may look into a shorter style for the summer. I have some great hats to wear and have been reading up on different ways to wear head scarves. :-)
Here are some images of things I'm thinking about. Just for fun. :-)
I am beginning to research the effects and science of radiation for cancer. Please pray that Al and I would be able to talk about and make a wise decision in this area. My natural lean is to not undergo radiation, but I want to be open and to understand fully the science behind this course, and I want to be open to God's leading here as well.
I'm getting use to the wig, I can go hours without thinking about it and the itch is gone. I may look into a shorter style for the summer. I have some great hats to wear and have been reading up on different ways to wear head scarves. :-)
Here are some images of things I'm thinking about. Just for fun. :-)
Friday, March 18, 2011
Tired, but two down.
I was able to have my chemo treatment on Tuesday. My white blood cell count was very good, almost normal, and so after a quick visit with the oncologist I was able to complete the 2nd of 8 chemo treatments. My mom was my visitor this time and we were given a private room in the cancer center. We watched HGTV shows and talked about redecorating and other things. It was nice to have company and the treatment went pretty quickly, we left about 4 pm. I slept in on Wednesday but worked a half day and worked both Thursday and Friday. I am tired, the anti-nausea medication causes drowsiness and I am really tired. Oops - I said that already. :-)
So I'm hoping for a quiet weekend, and then I have two full weeks to recover again before the next treatment. There will be a blood work check up on March 25th, a week from today, to make sure I'm staying healthy. On that note, if I don't take you up on a social opportunity please don't feel bad. I may just be resting and staying away from germs.
Oh, a deer decided to jump in front of Al on his way to work Thursday morning, so my little Vibe is at the body shop. Al is fine, no injuries there. The latest news on the car is that is it to be totalled and we should start looking for a new car. Yuck. Please pray that we can figure out what to do with that news. Thanks again for your prayers and love.
So I'm hoping for a quiet weekend, and then I have two full weeks to recover again before the next treatment. There will be a blood work check up on March 25th, a week from today, to make sure I'm staying healthy. On that note, if I don't take you up on a social opportunity please don't feel bad. I may just be resting and staying away from germs.
Oh, a deer decided to jump in front of Al on his way to work Thursday morning, so my little Vibe is at the body shop. Al is fine, no injuries there. The latest news on the car is that is it to be totalled and we should start looking for a new car. Yuck. Please pray that we can figure out what to do with that news. Thanks again for your prayers and love.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Raining
Matthew 5:44,45 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. In the words of Jeff Manion, "It doesn't rain in squares." This verse helped me when I was initially diagnosed with cancer, you know when you ask the famous "why me?" question, I had to turn it into "why NOT me?" And because I like my hair, now I am asking it again. My hair is raining too, just like the weather outside. My little quiet unspoken hope that maybe my hair would stick is not to be. Luke says "Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows."
Okay, moving on. My new blood pressure medication seems to be helping. So far my numbers are down 15-20 points pretty consistently. Not in the all clear area yet but getting there. I have been exercising consistently also so maybe that is helping. I have been eating orange food a lot this week, that is supposed to help with my immunity system and my white blood cell count. I feel good, yesterday was 6 weeks after the surgery and my arm is starting to get more feeling back, less of the numb, falling asleep tingling feeling. My range of motion is good, I am doing stretching exercises to keep the right arm moving. I need a quiet weekend with no germs so I can go to the cancer center on Tuesday and receive the next round of chemo.
Prayer requests? I would like to stay healthy so the chemo can go as scheduled, every three weeks. Our food schedule is coming to an end, and I think that's okay, as Al really enjoys cooking and my appetite has slowed some. Each week now will be food focused on helping my blood counts so we may need to swing into and out of certain food groups to adjust for that. Thank you all again for your prayers.
Okay, moving on. My new blood pressure medication seems to be helping. So far my numbers are down 15-20 points pretty consistently. Not in the all clear area yet but getting there. I have been exercising consistently also so maybe that is helping. I have been eating orange food a lot this week, that is supposed to help with my immunity system and my white blood cell count. I feel good, yesterday was 6 weeks after the surgery and my arm is starting to get more feeling back, less of the numb, falling asleep tingling feeling. My range of motion is good, I am doing stretching exercises to keep the right arm moving. I need a quiet weekend with no germs so I can go to the cancer center on Tuesday and receive the next round of chemo.
Prayer requests? I would like to stay healthy so the chemo can go as scheduled, every three weeks. Our food schedule is coming to an end, and I think that's okay, as Al really enjoys cooking and my appetite has slowed some. Each week now will be food focused on helping my blood counts so we may need to swing into and out of certain food groups to adjust for that. Thank you all again for your prayers.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Mondays, why do they come after Sunday?
You all know what Mondays feel like... Today was Monday.
Last Friday I had some blood work done and my white blood cell count is down a little. I need to get plenty of rest, eat well ( I read on a couple of websites the orange food is good when chemo patients have lower white blood cell counts- so we bought oranges, sweet potatoes, salmon, and carrots!) and keep up some basic exercise. I have been using the workout room at work, it's a good way to end the day, and then go home and rest.
Feel free to pray for the white blood cell count, it wasn't low enough to put off the next chemo session but they will check it again on the 15th before they give me the next batch of chemo so it needs to stay the same or go back up. Also, I would really appreciate prayer for Andrew, Annie and Al that they would stay healthy and not introduce germs at home. I have already told Annie if she gets sick she has to go to Grandma's to get better! :-)
The nurse also told me to stay away from big groups (like the Middle School Choir concert I went to the night before that appointment) and other areas where I might be exposed to colds and flus. Where would be the most germ free place? I am open to suggestions? Maybe somewhere warmer? Based on articles in the Press and on the local news I'm not even sure staying home would help. I do have a bottle of hand sanitizer on each of my two school desks and have a bottle at home in my green room.
I have started my new blood pressure medication and wanted to give it a couple of days before I checked my pressure. I will do that later today.
I feel good, I again have so many of you to thank for meals and cards and prayers. I know it helps. Thank you for hanging around me and for lifting me up.
Peace,
Mary
Last Friday I had some blood work done and my white blood cell count is down a little. I need to get plenty of rest, eat well ( I read on a couple of websites the orange food is good when chemo patients have lower white blood cell counts- so we bought oranges, sweet potatoes, salmon, and carrots!) and keep up some basic exercise. I have been using the workout room at work, it's a good way to end the day, and then go home and rest.
Feel free to pray for the white blood cell count, it wasn't low enough to put off the next chemo session but they will check it again on the 15th before they give me the next batch of chemo so it needs to stay the same or go back up. Also, I would really appreciate prayer for Andrew, Annie and Al that they would stay healthy and not introduce germs at home. I have already told Annie if she gets sick she has to go to Grandma's to get better! :-)
The nurse also told me to stay away from big groups (like the Middle School Choir concert I went to the night before that appointment) and other areas where I might be exposed to colds and flus. Where would be the most germ free place? I am open to suggestions? Maybe somewhere warmer? Based on articles in the Press and on the local news I'm not even sure staying home would help. I do have a bottle of hand sanitizer on each of my two school desks and have a bottle at home in my green room.
I have started my new blood pressure medication and wanted to give it a couple of days before I checked my pressure. I will do that later today.
I feel good, I again have so many of you to thank for meals and cards and prayers. I know it helps. Thank you for hanging around me and for lifting me up.
Peace,
Mary
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
The waiting and the blood pressure
“What makes us heroic? Confronting simultaneously
our supreme suffering and our supreme hope.”
—Friedrich Nietzsche (1844–1900)
I just read this quote in my grad class book. I was hit by the truth of it, not that I am even close to supreme suffering but I know what my supreme hope it. This is a perfect description of what Jesus did for us. Amazing.
I am waiting, the first chemo treatment was amazingly easy, and only left me slightly tired this last weekend. We did not have school on Friday and so I took a great long nap and we had an easy Saturday and Sunday which helped a lot. I have been back to work this week, and it feels good to have a "normal" week.
I went to my general doctor today to talk about my blood pressure and the meds I'm taking for that. Once again I was impressed with the quality of the care I received. I was listened to and given time to ask questions and process information and the doctor was a convincing partner in my care. God is being so good to me in this regard. I now have a slightly different medication, hopefully to help bring the blood pressure down some, and will check back with him in about a month. I know some of you were praying for my blood pressure and that appointment so - Thank you!
Thursday I go for a 5 week check up with the plastic surgeon and Friday I go back to the cancer center for blood work. They are looking to trace how well the chemo is working and how my body is handling it. If everything looks good then my next chemo treatment is March 15th. The schedule is once every three weeks, four times for the first "chemical cocktail" and then the same again for a second chemo drug, once every three weeks, four repeats. If I stay healthy and all goes well I will be done in late July.
I am still praying about the option of radiation after the chemo, I need to learn some more and the radiation doctor wanted more details on the pathology report concerning the one involved lymph node.
our supreme suffering and our supreme hope.”
—Friedrich Nietzsche (1844–1900)
I just read this quote in my grad class book. I was hit by the truth of it, not that I am even close to supreme suffering but I know what my supreme hope it. This is a perfect description of what Jesus did for us. Amazing.
I am waiting, the first chemo treatment was amazingly easy, and only left me slightly tired this last weekend. We did not have school on Friday and so I took a great long nap and we had an easy Saturday and Sunday which helped a lot. I have been back to work this week, and it feels good to have a "normal" week.
I went to my general doctor today to talk about my blood pressure and the meds I'm taking for that. Once again I was impressed with the quality of the care I received. I was listened to and given time to ask questions and process information and the doctor was a convincing partner in my care. God is being so good to me in this regard. I now have a slightly different medication, hopefully to help bring the blood pressure down some, and will check back with him in about a month. I know some of you were praying for my blood pressure and that appointment so - Thank you!
Thursday I go for a 5 week check up with the plastic surgeon and Friday I go back to the cancer center for blood work. They are looking to trace how well the chemo is working and how my body is handling it. If everything looks good then my next chemo treatment is March 15th. The schedule is once every three weeks, four times for the first "chemical cocktail" and then the same again for a second chemo drug, once every three weeks, four repeats. If I stay healthy and all goes well I will be done in late July.
I am still praying about the option of radiation after the chemo, I need to learn some more and the radiation doctor wanted more details on the pathology report concerning the one involved lymph node.
Wow, lots of details.
Again and still- the meals and cards that you all have provided mean so much to me. I am amazed and overwhelmed and as someone suggested today- humbled by your generosity and care for me. I am keeping all the cards, thinking that I will use them all to create a celebration party invitation list. :-)
Thank you - I need to think about another way to say that, those words seem inadequate to relate to the care you all have given me.
Peace,
Mary
Friday, February 25, 2011
Haircut and 2 days after chemo
This is in anticipation of it falling out. Ugh. Oh well. I watched the movie Meet the Robinsons twice yesterday while overcoming a migraine, so we will just "keep moving forward!"
The Chemo treatment itself wasn't bad at all. I'm not sure the migraine was related to the treatment, just some other hormonal issues and the weather? Anyway, I have not been nauseous and was able to work again today. It really does feel good to get out and do the normal stuff. Tomorrow is a mid-winter break day for Caledonia, so I will sleep in and spend time with Annie, she really wants to see the Nome movie - Romeo and Juliet?
Thanks again for those who are praying for me. Today I cleaned a few counter tops and collected up so many of the cards you have sent. Many bring tears to my eyes as I read them again. It is so good to know I am not alone in this, that so many friends and family are walking through this with me. If you know others who are fighting this fight encourage them too. A card or email or quick text message can make a tough hour or two so much easier.
And if you see Al or Annie or Andrew, give them a hug. They have been so good to me. Al has been amazing, still recovering from his broken collar bone and struggling with not having the time and strength to do his usual repairs and maintenance. Please pray for him and Annie and Andrew as they help and make accommodations.
Peace,
Mary
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
First batch of chemo
Okay, I am currently sitting in the Metro Health Cancer Center, with a tube attached to my "port," and the nurse is "pushing in one of the two medicines that I am getting. The staff here is great, amazingly friendly and open about everything they are doing. So far the biggest pain is getting the lounge chair I'm sitting in to fit me right. It needs more lumbar support and and a foot stool for my short legs. Al is hanging out with me and is playing some games on his phone. :-)
My blood pressure was again through the roof as I get so nervous about this stuff. I'm sure it will be better next week as I will know what to expect and how easy this is. (Check with me in a couple of days to see how I am doing, they gave me anti-nausea medication that lasts 72 hours.) The blood pressure medicine has been helping when I check it at home, just not in medical settings.
Thank you for praying me through this first session. I am following my sister-in-law's advice and picturing the medicine as little army men drip-marching in to knock out any loose cancer bad guys running around in my body. Andrew should create an x-box game that follows that story line. :-)
We also had a consultation with the radiation dr. today. She was very nice also and explained everything we asked her. Radiation is at least 5 months away so I will continue to look into that and consider the pros and cons. I would ask you to pray that Al and I would make a wise decision in that area.
I will post a picture later, in the comments section if you want to see some of my equipment.
Thanks again for praying, or good thoughts or just following my journey.
Peace,
Mary
My blood pressure was again through the roof as I get so nervous about this stuff. I'm sure it will be better next week as I will know what to expect and how easy this is. (Check with me in a couple of days to see how I am doing, they gave me anti-nausea medication that lasts 72 hours.) The blood pressure medicine has been helping when I check it at home, just not in medical settings.
Thank you for praying me through this first session. I am following my sister-in-law's advice and picturing the medicine as little army men drip-marching in to knock out any loose cancer bad guys running around in my body. Andrew should create an x-box game that follows that story line. :-)
We also had a consultation with the radiation dr. today. She was very nice also and explained everything we asked her. Radiation is at least 5 months away so I will continue to look into that and consider the pros and cons. I would ask you to pray that Al and I would make a wise decision in that area.
I will post a picture later, in the comments section if you want to see some of my equipment.
Thanks again for praying, or good thoughts or just following my journey.
Peace,
Mary
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Looking back and forward
When I first started teaching Andrew to drive, he was constantly looking in the rear view mirror, and reporting to me that "that guy is too close, I wish he would back off!" I had to encourage him that looking forward at where he was going was more important than focusing on the stuff behind him. I am proud to say that Andrew is a very good driver now, he has learned this lesson for driving. How true this is for other aspects of our life!
I was able to work both Thursday and Friday and they were good days. Technology was useful and helpful in the education process and I saw progress with staff and students. Looking forward at work is exciting and encouraging. I was tired both days when I came home and slept a lot on Saturday. I did get a "work out" in on Saturday, time on the treadmill and some stretching exercises. Later Saturday my right arm and armpit had some pokey, minor pain and since I hold my stress in my upper back and shoulders this area was also sore and painful. I find myself looking in that rear view mirror, just 3 weeks ago my arms and back were fine, no pain, no nerve issues. But I have to tell myself to look forward and focus on the future. I have to be looking for the new normal, the new me. Now I am in the Land Between, which is a really good book by Jeff Manion, by the way. I am traveling from who and where I was to the new normal, the new me that God is producing.
A big part of that journey was the surgery and that really has gone well. The second big part of the journey is chemotherapy. Tuesday is my first session, we will get to test out my new port and see how that works. I keep hearing that the first session of chemo is not bad, that the later sessions will be harder and take more of a toll on my strength. We'll just have to see, I think prayer can pull me through a lot. It has already! I will be sure to let you all know how it goes after Tuesday. ;-)
Thanks again for your prayers, they mean so much to me and I can tell they are working.
PS. I hate the idea of losing my hair. Just saying.
I was able to work both Thursday and Friday and they were good days. Technology was useful and helpful in the education process and I saw progress with staff and students. Looking forward at work is exciting and encouraging. I was tired both days when I came home and slept a lot on Saturday. I did get a "work out" in on Saturday, time on the treadmill and some stretching exercises. Later Saturday my right arm and armpit had some pokey, minor pain and since I hold my stress in my upper back and shoulders this area was also sore and painful. I find myself looking in that rear view mirror, just 3 weeks ago my arms and back were fine, no pain, no nerve issues. But I have to tell myself to look forward and focus on the future. I have to be looking for the new normal, the new me. Now I am in the Land Between, which is a really good book by Jeff Manion, by the way. I am traveling from who and where I was to the new normal, the new me that God is producing.
A big part of that journey was the surgery and that really has gone well. The second big part of the journey is chemotherapy. Tuesday is my first session, we will get to test out my new port and see how that works. I keep hearing that the first session of chemo is not bad, that the later sessions will be harder and take more of a toll on my strength. We'll just have to see, I think prayer can pull me through a lot. It has already! I will be sure to let you all know how it goes after Tuesday. ;-)
Thanks again for your prayers, they mean so much to me and I can tell they are working.
PS. I hate the idea of losing my hair. Just saying.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Home on Wednesday
I was able to work a full day on Monday, was exhausted in the evening but it was a good tired. :-) It was so good to see people and thank them in person for their prayers and well wishes. Again I am amazed at what a great crowd of people I get to work with.
Then I worked a half day on Tuesday, and spent the afternoon at the hospital having a "dignity port" put in. Al and James keep saying I should ask for a USB port instead. ( Techie joke) So now I have this
Then I worked a half day on Tuesday, and spent the afternoon at the hospital having a "dignity port" put in. Al and James keep saying I should ask for a USB port instead. ( Techie joke) So now I have this
placed under my skin on the left side and the little tubing goes up to a vein in my neck. Jugular vein to be exact. The purpose of this little do-dad is to ease the chemo and blood work, nurses can just tap into this port to access to my blood stream either in or out. Then they won't have to keep poking up and down my left arm looking for a decent vein. I had moderate sedation, but I kept talking to the surgeon so he kept asking the nurse to give me more sleepy stuff. It didn't make me sleepy until I got home!
I had a little dinner and a huge glass of water, (I couldn't eat or drink after 6am Tuesday morning.) Then I went to the couch with my God circle quilt and slept until about 9 pm. I was kinda awake for an hour and then went to bed. And slept in a little on Wednesday. Today I am working from home, a little sore but not bad. I can go back to work on Thursday. :-)
The whole medical profession is so amazing, I've had great nurses and doctors and the relative ease with which they can treat a deadly disease is amazing. I wish I could calm my nerves better when I am there, they try so hard to make me comfortable. God is so great, this is all the effect of centuries of sin in the world, but He keeps helping man learn how to handle and treat some of the effects. God is so good to us, specially since we don't deserve it. His love is overwhelming!
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